What
is that thing which is like a fuel, which gives us the power to keep
moving forwards, to continue? I consider myself to be very lucky
because I feel I have found one from many answers to that
question.For me it is pure curiosity. My curiosity comes with an
overwhelming desire to know more, to understand more and to see more.
This desire is stronger than the fear of the unknown or the
difficulties and the obstacles that we have to face on our journey to
our dreams. Remember if there is an opportunity, grab it while you
can. Sometimes it will work out for you and sometimes it won’t.
Whatever happens always remember that the journey itself is a goal.
When I
was seventeen years old I nearly ended up wheel chair bound with a
rare autoimmune condition. I loved the ocean and wanted to see the
world and that unfortunate set of circumstances left me heavily
depending on others and strong medications with addictive side
effects. I was not even sure if i want my life anymore. I would spend
countless hours looking through stunning photographs of the worlds
beautiful oceans against the back drop of the typical cold dark
hospital bed window view of the world. Life was mundane and
ritualistic afternoon tea and different coloured pills were all you
could look forward to.
It
took me two years to find an alternative medicine which helped me
enormously both physically and mentally. In that same time I also
found freediving by training for a first time with my trainer Martin
Zajac and APNEAMAN team. Freediving gave to me a sense of freedom
that I had been longing for. You never really know what it’s like
to be free until you lose your freedom. It’s something that we can
easily take for granted until one day it’s gone. In the water I
could move without pain and found a way to relax and how to be
peaceful just with myself, deep in the depths of the ocean I am
alone.
One
day I suddenly decided that I no longer wanted to live the way I was
living. I decided I wanted to be happy and take control of my life. I
began training with this overwhelming desire and energy that just
kept flowing through me. I learned that the attitude that I have
towards my deep dive training is the attitude I want to apply to the
entirety of my whole life. I train in the simplest way possible with
a focus on how much I love what I am doing and with it all of those
beautiful little moments that are given to me.
I love
deep dives because in that moment of time and space nothing seems to
exist. Depth is a vacuum of emptiness where there is no sense of
right or wrong or good or bad. It just is pure joy in that very
moment where I am completely vulnerable. If an untrained observer
where to glimpse that moment of freefall where we are semi conscious
falling into the depths of the ocean, head down and eyes closed, one
would probably just laugh thinking that freedivers look like some
super hero from a marvel comic book. However if you know the secret
then that smile on your face would be more like a nod of sincerity.
I am
now living the life of a traveller and athlete and I get to teach the
sport I love whilst proudly holding national records for my country
and being Apnea Academy Instructor. I am happy and grateful that I
found the inner strength to follow my heart to pursue my passion and
to question my medical prognosis that would have taken all my hopes
and dreams away.
Life
makes you fall. Sometimes these experiences can be particularly
painful, but the only real failure is to give up. Never give up on
your dreams!
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